What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
