She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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