A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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