I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
