the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
