Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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