I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
