Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
