and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize