At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
