Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
