So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
