Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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