I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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