mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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