The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
