ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
