If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
