yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
