I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
