You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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