this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
