You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
