its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
