Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I believe in your delicious
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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