this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
