question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
