it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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