Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
