I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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