Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
