Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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