I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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