Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
