Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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