whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
