my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
