I got chris browned last night
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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