would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
