i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite