Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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