somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage