That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
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When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel