Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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