I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
