Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
