I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We're too hungover to prance.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
