Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize