why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
