On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
