apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize