for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my poor anus
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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