Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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