college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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