I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
