oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
