i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
