His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize