My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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