im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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