I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize