Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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