I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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