I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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